It's Christmas eve, and I'm have a BBQ lunch with the family. On the way here, Carlos secretly mouthed words "just let them open one gift tonight." There's no way there opening a gift tonight- now that they're older the gifts are fewer yet way higher in cost. I know it's not about gifts, but I want them to feel like they got enough. I want the unwrapping experience to last for more than two minutes. I want their Christmas to be magic.
We're staying home this year for the first time in forever. It's bittersweet- I love the downtime, but I miss my family. I'm just trying to breathe and rest, because it's going to be awhile before I have a week off again.
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Friday, December 24, 2010
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
taking it. and leaving it.
So, my 36th birthday is Sunday and this one is hitting me kinda hard. I know I'm not old- but I'm not that young anymore either. Being officially beyond my mid 30's is slightly depressing...especially because I haven't met
several goals that I set a long, long time ago. But way more importantly than that, there are many things that just keep getting better and better. I definitely enjoy the confidence that comes with age- I kinda like knowing who I am. As much as I miss having little kids, I LOVE having older kids that are extremely self sufficient...and a having a teenager/insta-sitter is just swirly pink icing on the cupcake. I love running to the store by myself, or having an impromptu frozen yogurt date with Carlos. I'm okay with the fact that I don't have a ton of friends, I'd just rather have a few really good ones. There's finally no more obsessing about people who have more stuff than me- like bigger houses, better cars, cuter clothes. At the end of the day, I wouldn't want anybody else's life. I don't want what isn't mine.
I was talking to a younger mom tonight about my being anti-social...I think she thought I was apologizing- I wasn't, at all. I'd chose to hang out with my family over most any social event...It's just who I am. Take it or leave it.
I think that's what being thirty-something is all about...being able to say "take it or leave it" and really meaning it.
So, although smile lines, and the onset of hot flashes is by far not my favorite...I'm just gonna take it- theres not a lot I can do about it. But what I can do is keep learning and reaching out. I'm going to enjoy being me. And if all goes as planned, I'm going to be a nurse by the time I'm 40.
Here goes nothing.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
several goals that I set a long, long time ago. But way more importantly than that, there are many things that just keep getting better and better. I definitely enjoy the confidence that comes with age- I kinda like knowing who I am. As much as I miss having little kids, I LOVE having older kids that are extremely self sufficient...and a having a teenager/insta-sitter is just swirly pink icing on the cupcake. I love running to the store by myself, or having an impromptu frozen yogurt date with Carlos. I'm okay with the fact that I don't have a ton of friends, I'd just rather have a few really good ones. There's finally no more obsessing about people who have more stuff than me- like bigger houses, better cars, cuter clothes. At the end of the day, I wouldn't want anybody else's life. I don't want what isn't mine.
I was talking to a younger mom tonight about my being anti-social...I think she thought I was apologizing- I wasn't, at all. I'd chose to hang out with my family over most any social event...It's just who I am. Take it or leave it.
I think that's what being thirty-something is all about...being able to say "take it or leave it" and really meaning it.
So, although smile lines, and the onset of hot flashes is by far not my favorite...I'm just gonna take it- theres not a lot I can do about it. But what I can do is keep learning and reaching out. I'm going to enjoy being me. And if all goes as planned, I'm going to be a nurse by the time I'm 40.
Here goes nothing.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
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