one down.

Well, I did it. I finished my first college course.

It was a million times easier than I thought it would be, but it was an English class and I do speak English. Nevertheless, it's a milestone.

I got a perfect score on all 5 essays, so I got at least a C as a total grade.

I definitely missed a few on the final exam, but I don't know how many yet.

I can proof and punctuate sentences 'til the cows come home, but memorizing grammar rules is the challenge.

And it always seems like what I study the most is the smallest portion of the test.

I really hate that.

There is something about my reasoning process that is slightly screwed up.

I'm too indecisive and it gets my head all cloudy.

Anyway, I might get an A.

I'm going to be sad if I get a B.

I still have a month of the night class that reminds me of traffic school.

It's a class where we discuss things like studying instead of partying and other forms of effective decision making.

please y'all, I'm 36.

There are some pretty colorful characters in there.

I hate it pretty bad.

A pack of skittles from the vending machine is the only thing that keeps me from jumping out the window!

j/k, that's hyperbole, the fancy word for exaggerating, and not among the forms of effective communication. chapter 7; page 136.

copy cat.

I'm copying a friend by doing a favorite things post. I'm just feeling very blah today and I need to lighten things up. I have no reason to be in a bad mood; I think I just miss free time. I also feel overwhelmed by the annual back-to-school spending marathon/emotional fallout of my kids being another year closer to adulthood. ANYWAY, I feel like making a top 10 list is a good idea.

• Burt's bees lip balm. I'd be lost without it. enough said.
• tea tree oil. mixed with water and a few drops of non-mineral baby oil, it becomes the perfect antiseptic solution for bug bites, scrapes, skin irritations, etc. I also occasionally simmer tea tree oil in water to cleanse the air.
• iced coffee! Oh my gosh. I love iced coffee in the summertime. I brew double strength coffee, (pour over method) to the bottom line of my reusable starbucks cup. Add two teaspoons of turbinado, a splash of half & half, and ice to the top. My mouth is watering just thinking about it. Cafe Do Ponto, a brazilian coffee, is hands down the best.
• my starbucks reusable cup. It is a part of me. I can't let go.
• mini york peppermint patties. heaven on earth. the best way to eat one is in a million tiny bites.
• eye lash curler. I am 36 and I just bought my first eye lash curler. I have used one before, but not in years. All I can say is WOW! It makes a really big difference! I actually have nice lashes. <3
• MacBook. My dad bought me a MacBook when I started college and I love it! It's my first Mac and I'm a fan. I had no idea how much time I'd be spending on my computer doing homework, and It's just made my life so much easier. It's great to read the occasional blog and watch movies.
• Twitter. It's the perfect little social outlet for me. I've detoxed from facebook and feel a thousand times better about my life. I could elaborate, but I'll spare you the details.
• college. I've needed to do it for a long time. I'm 100% sure it was the right decision for me. I love the challenge and having something to really put my heart into.
• Havaianas. I'm a flip-flop girl and that will probably never change. They're my favorite because they're so sturdy; you don't feel like you're walking on a piece of foam. The designs are usually adorable- leave it to the Brazilians to come up with everything.

For them.

I'm not going to lie, having 3 kids on summer break, working 30 hours and taking 10 hours of classes a week isn't always easy. It's been somewhat easier than I thought it would be, but the worse part is feeling like my kids are having a boring summer break.

Today, I took them to work with me from 9-11:30, so they wouldn't be home alone all morning.

I rushed to get lunch and drop them off before my 12:30 class.

I gave Alexandria the house keys and watched them walk towards the house, fast food lunch in tow.

I felt so guilty in that moment.

Something I really don't like about our house is that the front door is not visible from the street. I couldn't see if they had gotten in, and I hated myself for not just taking the time to walk them to the door. I hate feeling like I'm putting other things before my kids; It just goes against everything in me.

I called Abraham, and he informed me that they got in, locked the door behind them, and let the dog out back. I told him that I was just checking and to be good. Then, in typical Abraham fashion he said something that made me laugh. He said: "ok, you be good, too, and stay in school." What a funny guy. A funny, sweet, intuitive guy.

So I went to class, rushed, overwhelmed, mommy guilt in tow.

I waited almost 30 minutes for the professor to get there.

sigh.

Our warm up was to write about something that we'd rather be doing than be in class.

I wrote about how I'd rather be out enjoying summer with my kids, but how they seem to know that I'm doing this for them.

for future family vacations.

for car insurance when they're 16.

for senior cap and gowns.

for college.

for wedding cakes.

For them.

graded

I got my first graded paper back today.

I knew it was coming; I had been stewing over it all weekend.

The 3 hour class was almost over when he finally passed them out.

The professor is super methodical and almost ceremonial; which I happen to love.

He spent about 20 minutes reviewing the codes we might find on our graded paper.

Things such as: a circle for an error inside of a sentence, and upside down cross for a run-on, frag for a fragmented sentence. Wrdy was code for wordy, and awk was code for awkward; I think that I am probably both of those things most of the time.

He reminded us of the 20 point grading system where only a 19 & 20 are an A.

My palms were sweating as I envisioned my paper doused with marks and red ink.

I kept telling myself that this is just my first essay, it's a learning experience.

Originally, I thought I had done well, but my confidence was waining, and for the first time his over-explaining was really getting on my nerves. I wanted my paper!

Finally he began to pass them out; mine was probably the 4th one. I looked over the first page; it had no codes. The second page had no codes. The third page, again, no codes. At this point, I was very confused. Finally, on the last page I saw this:

I still cant quite believe it.

I could feel the dread of the guy next to me who got a D; I've been there a time or two. The professor walked around and gave people feedback. I felt as if the room was spinning. I've never gotten a perfect score on something as subjective as an essay. It was surreal.

I worked really, really hard on this paper. It was a very personal topic. I read it so many times that I absolutely hated it. I turned it in because I had to. I got it back and now it makes me proud.

It feels really nice to get a good grade.

the end.