Today was the first day of fall term. sigh.
My 8th term; feels like 80.
To say the novelty of college has worn off is an understatement.
I walked onto campus feeling more like I was going for a root-canal than for anything good or praiseworthy.
If you're an arrested development fan, (new episodes made me sad) then you'll understand what I mean when I say the charlie brown music was playing and my head was hanging low.
I whispered a quick prayer asking for the Lord to give joy while I finish what I started.
And for a vision into the future because I keep forgetting why I'm doing this.
I keep forgetting that one day it'll be done and I'll be a nurse.
A few minutes later, I'm sitting in my anatomy&physiology II class getting the normal first day talk about expectations and responsibility. Professor O.is my favorite professor, ever.
I listen to her talk and I wonder if I'll ever be as knowledgeable about anything as she is.
Although I have stumped her on a few questions; she's a smart cookie.
Anyway, she started talking about how we don't become nurses on the day they hand us the certificate. The certificate just makes it official after the work is complete. We're doing the work now, so we're nurses now and we need to start thinking and acting like it. Then she said, (and she might as well have mentioned my name because it felt so personal) "You guys are almost there, it's almost time to start the nursing program." I started believing it.
So I'm sitting there with water coming out of my eyes and joy filling my heart.
I cannot tell you what a relief it was for me. Because the problem, and the cause of the peanuts music playing in my head, was that I've been in school for over 2 years and I don't feel like anything. All this work and nothing.
Truth is, I never believed I would actually reach the first goal of getting my pre-reqs until today. And when I stared believing, I got a joy drop.
At work, we're teaching the kids about the fruits of the spirit. On Sunday, we talked about joy and how it comes from believing God's promises are true.
Believing comes first; joy comes second. I get it now.
