my memaw is better than yours...

"it takes no talent to be miserable..."
-Nancy Martin Stetson Carroll

James and Jacki gave each of us a copy of this picture of my Memaw with Dick Van Dyke (excuse the flash off the glass.)
This picture is amazing not only because she is standing next to a Hollywood legend
but because it captures Memaw in her classic pose.
I look at her face and I'm right back in the same trance she put me in whenever I was with her. She was BEAUTIFUL inside and out. I wish you all could have known her.

Having this picture of her hanging on my wall is going to change my life because when I look at it I remember her qualities. She always made me want to rise to the occasion and sadly I lost some of that when she died, but I'm getting it back! This year is going to be amazing...I can feel it in the deepest part of me. I don't make resolutions I am however making a decision to reflect my heritage more. I come from AMAZING women!!!

This is the poem I wrote for her and read at her funeral.

I have gazed into you
searching for one single trait
God might have traced into me-
oh to be so beautiful.
And I have stood in your shoes
and tried to walk-
Oh to be so graceful.
And holidays
like magic simply glistened in my eyes
you were amazing.
Just as you shined
In a little girls eyes
you will remain
Shining softly in my heart forever.

a verse from Toya on New Years Eve...

Let nothing disturb you,
Let nothing frighten you,
All things pass away:
God never changes.
Patience obtains all things.
He who has God
Finds he lacks nothing;
God alone suffices.

St. Teresa of Avila

i like birds...

Hope is the thing with feathers
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune--without the words,
And never stops at all,

And sweetest in the gale is heard;
And sore must be the storm
That could abash the little bird
That kept so many warm.

I've heard it in the chillest land,
And on the strangest sea;
Yet, never, in extremity,
It asked a crumb of me.

-emily dickenson-

serious cuteness.

betcha been wondering how it went...

culinary master.

yes I have apron envy.

the boys doing what they do best.

wondering if my mom was taking a picture of me.

my favorite aiya.

mimi holding vaida rose.

s'mores with the uncles

getting in touch with their inner caveman

beautiful cousin Lauren aka "luren"
(can you tell by the last 2 pictures that matt needs to pee?)

the newest duke

patiently waiting.

the view: beautiful
the cabin: lovely
the kids: woke up early
the food: yummy
the gifts: thoughtful
my family: means the world to me.

Vacation at last...

whoa what a year....2007 has been interesting to say the least, and now here we are just days till Christmas. we are with out a doubt extremely blessed.

we are hear near gatlinburg...taking in the sights and breathing some fresh air. Spending time with some of our dearest friends and today for the first time in years all the Dukes will be under the same roof.

i am grateful today for the miracles of this season.

who doesn't have a camera? i dont. maybe i'll swing by walmart.

tiny tots with their eyes all a glow...

"take a picture so I can eat it..." -Abraham

What's Bono got to do with it?

o how I need some life coaching...

Ok so I'm slightly bothered...(don't read this part boys) yes I have PMS.
Last night at work a dear partner (we'll call her partner A) announced in front of me that "Christianity is a cult."
She was responding to another partner's question (we'll call him partner B) about if we have seen the documentary "Jesus camp"
(I have not but I'm sure it's wacky or they wouldn't make a documentary about it) and he said that they're making Christianity seem like a cult...to which partner A answered
"Christianity is a cult."

That really upset me...she knows I'm a Christian.

*disclaimer*

People have seen the works of radicals and crazies and I know that these unappointed representatives impact people's thoughts, also people have taken religion to extremes and started cults while still calling it Christianity.

But I felt like partner A insulted me...I know she never would on purpose but sadly the "pms offense clause" doesn't give a provision for things done "not on purpose."
Honestly I'm sad she feels that way about Christianity...I'm sad that so many are hurt by the mishandling of the gospel.

Bottom line...I have to realize she was insulting a RELIGION as she knows it and I'm sure some of it is probably warranted. And in my attempts to be Christ-like I forgive her.

“I don’t see Jesus Christ as being part of any religion,”
“Religion to me is almost like when God leaves – and then people devise a set of rules to fill the space.”
-BONO

no words

to express how hilarious it can be when an outside force disturbs our world as we know it. As many of you know (whomever you may be who actually reads my blog) I work at Starbucks. Our store is really not very trendy or cool...we are in an upscale part of town in front of a hospital and offices where we serve mostly engineers and doctors and high society socialites with handbags the size of my minivan. It's been brought up in conversations with district managers and others high up in the Co. that our store is "robotic" and "not warm" but I say we do a good job of matching the mood/personality of our customers. Did that sound mean? I'm not trying to be, it's just somewhat serious in our store...and that's the way it's always been. So just imagine with me if you will...it's about an hour into our morning rush, there is a line to the door when all the sudden a gypsy-like family of carolers with medieval instruments walk in the door mid song. At first I thought it was a siren of some kind...and then maybe a mariachi band...it was loud and twangy and really very cool but totally unexpected. They walked straight in like they owned the place and continued playing their song seeming totally unaffected by the blank stare that our customers offered them. It was as if time was in slow motion...PAINFULLY awkward to continue ringing customers whilst the unabashed expression of holiday cheer droned on completely unacknowledged. I found myself blushing and almost embarrassed by the situation. I was disappointed and yet not surprised that no one was clapping, or smiling and no longer making eye contact with the cheerful strangers...being a compulsive talker I muttered out something like "shouldn't we be dancing?" and then I resorted to humor by saying "security" when a particularly unamused co-worker walked over to me. I wish my kids could have been there...Abraham would have cut a rug. They finished the song and yes people did clap thank goodness. Oh and I think they had business fliers or some kind of literature but sadly nobody took one. It really was funny...and it broke up the monotony for about 5 minutes. Just as quickly as they came in they were gone and life went back to normal. I don't think I'll forget them for a while though...the cheerful strangers who showed me just how strange it can be when life as we know it is interrupted.

*thanks Carlos for telling me how to spell medieval

it's time...

I'm baking this weekend!

simplicity...

is the word that keeps going around and around in my mind. I am ready to simplify my life! Especially during Christmas...when did I decide that I would be stressed out during my favorite time of the year?

nano, nano...

yeah that's right folks my 10 yr old is officially cooler than me!

silly girl!

this one goes out to Brightwell.

happy birthday to me and a photo shoot with Matt...

me: hey buddy sit here while I get the webcam started.
matt: mommy...I don't want to.

me: ok... look at the camera and smile
matt: this is boring...

matt: if i do it, can I have some cake?
Me: ok...

Matt: (bouncing) YAY!!!

taking rest in Hope...

It's Monday morning, I've gotten the kids off to school and Carlos off to work coffee in tow. It's a beautiful and chilly outside I'm under my down comforter propped up on 4 or 5 pillows, reading scriptures, talking to God, and writing (a few of my favorite things to do.) I have been lately feeling an overwhelming sence of gratitude. It's like something just finally clicked with me and I'm realizing how unbelievably blessed I am. I have always been thankful for all I have in my life, and I thought I was hopeful but when I really started to study what hope is I realized that I was wishful. The difference? It seems the first way is circumstantial, the second is virtue of the heart. True hope becomes a part of your character, it's there in the good times and bad times.
A few definitions of hope:

hope (hp)

v. hoped, hop·ing, hopes

v.intr.

1. To wish for something with expectation of its fulfillment.

2. Archaic To have confidence; trust.

v.tr.

1. To look forward to with confidence or expectation: We hope that our children will be successful.

2. To expect and desire.

n.

1. A wish or desire accompanied by confident expectation of its fulfillment.

2. Something that is hoped for or desired: Success is our hope.

3. One that is a source of or reason for hope: the team's only hope for victory.

4. often Hope Christianity The theological virtue defined as the desire and search for a future good, difficult but not impossible to attain with God's help.

5. Archaic Trust; confidence.

God has given me hope as a gift, it wasn't something I could give myself believe me I tried. This scripture I found kinda says it all...

Fair are the places marked out for me; I have a noble heritage. I will give praise to the Lord who has been my guide; knowledge comes to me from my thoughts in the night.
I have put the Lord before me at all times; because he is at my right hand, I will not be moved.
Because of this my heart is glad, and my glory is full of joy: while my flesh takes its rest in hope.

Psalms 16:6-9

matthew being bored...