a new title.

I'm thinking about retiring this blog and starting a new one. This one just feels obsolete for where my life is now. I used to be consumed with having (wiggly) small children, and working retail. Now, I have a teenager, a pre-teen, and one who’s still kind of little (but will no longer hold my hand in public.) I'm also a student. God only knows if I’ll even have time to blog; I may post my essays if I feel brave enough.

Coming up with a title is challenging, I don't really have another catchy title. I know I’ll always be earth momma, but what does earth momma do when her babies grow up? Well, I’m going to help other people have babies! After my second week of school, once I demystified the “monster” of higher education, I increased the projection of my future. I’m pretty sure I’ll be a midwife one day. Grandma Stella always told me that my great-grandmother, Delilah, was a lay-midwife. I sure wish I had more information about her.

I’m working towards having a career basically for the sake of necessity, but a part of me will always be that girl hanging cloth diapers on the line, while breastfeeding a baby in a sling. A part of me really only wants to do that for the rest of my life. Alas, I had my glory days, I played, I napped, I nursed, and I pushed the stroller for miles on end. I did the baby thing, and it’s just not something that can last forever- unless you happen to be Mrs. Duggar.

It’s a new day- and I feel up for it.

baby ham.

I don't even have the wherewithal to find/scan/post a baby picture of Abraham, but trust me, from the day he was born he was an absolute explosion of cuteness.

Abraham- age 4

I could have made a million dollars off those dimples.

Abraham- age 11

And he's got a cleft chin, like Bono.

(If my brother was here, he'd point out that both traits are considered birth defects )

Today, he finished Elementary school.

6 years have vanished like a vapor.

Most of his teachers were outstanding and I'm very thankful for that.

He's made A or A/B honor roll, and A conduct for his entire life.

Now he's on to middle school.

I'm so proud, and a little sad that he's growing up so fast.

my double portion.

I'm sitting here, as a storm rolls in, trying to relax before I head off to class for the first time.
I have a pit in my stomach, and a lump in my throat.
A pit, because I'm nervous.
A lump, because I'm overcome with emotion from the events of the day.

At 1:44 a.m., I got the call that I've been waiting for.

Kelly was in labor, baby Ephraim was coming.
Even at that early hour, the timing felt so perfect.

No conflicts with school, or work, or the kids. Just perfect timing.

I don't think its an accident that I attended a birth on the very day I start school (with the intent to become a L&D nurse). I haven't doulaed a birth in 4 years.

I felt that today was a vision of my future- a prize to keep my eyes on.

Baby Ephraim wasn't even born yet and he was already fulfilling his name- a double portion, or blessing.

First, he's a blessing just because he's awesome. and squishy. and perfect.

Second, he's a blessing because he came into the world bringing vision and promise.

Something happened in my heart today at the birth, and it's just one of those things that can only be described as divine. Not only did I get to attend a beautiful birth, which happens to be my favorite thing, I got an impartation.

Ephraim and me, we've got something real special.

And when we had a little moment to talk, it was like he was saying

"Hi, Aunt Holly, today is a big day for both of us."

And he made me feel like I can definitely do it.

And he made me realize that I'm really going to love it.

if theres one thing this team has:

it's paper napkins, and slushies.

While I was planning the baby shower, one of the things I had mentioned to my friend, Rachel, is that I wished I had a "paper napkin drawer." It's just one of those last minute details that's a burden to make an extra trip for. Being the precious one that she is, Rachel started me a supply- and it's kind of grown from there. It's funny how the little things can make you feel better about your life.
I usually get the kids a slush after school. Between the 3 kids, I probably spend $15- $20 a week on drinks. Plus, the added annoyance of a car full of straw wrappers and empty cups.

We are HUGE sonic happy hour fans, HOWEVER, I found out that Kangaroo has a deal that if you buy a reusable cup, you get free refills all summer. I can not pass up a bargain like that, I just can't! Sorry, Sonic.

And the backslidden environmentalist that I am feels better, too.

You would not even believe how many times Abraham has thanked me for his cup. It's always the middle child who makes you feel like a good mom- for very little effort.

God bless all the middle children of the world.

The napkins and cups are reminding me of how amazing it feels to be prepared. If I take this approach to more areas of my life, imagine how happy I'll be.

being born.

Matthew had to write an autobiography at school.

He told me "I wrote that I was born at home, in a baby pool, and my friend said that was impossible, that all babies have to be born at the hospital. I told him that you probably took me to the hospital after I was born."

So I explained to Matthew that his birth was assisted by a very well qualified midwife, and because everything went perfectly, we didn't go to the hospital. He listened attentively as I told him that something like 80% of the world's births are out-of-hopital births, but some babies absolutely need to be born at the hospital. Home birth is a very safe choice when given the appropriate medical care, and the midwife is sure that momma and baby are healthy.

So, then he says "oh, so I was born at home because you didn't want me to get any shots? And I was born in a baby pool because you just really wanted us to have a baby pool?"

Yes, Matthew. That is exactly why I had you at home.

But seriously, while we are on the subject...my home birth was one of the best experiences of my life. All of my children's births were life changing, but having Matthew without intervention was the best mothering decision I've ever made.

It was my mountaintop moment with God.

Trust birth, y'all.