Like a river to a raindrop, I lost a friend.

 HBD, Eric.  I miss you.

Fake it till you make it.

If all goes well, I'll be applying for the nursing program this time next year.
I almost can't admit that there's an end in sight; that I'm so close to my goal, I can taste it.
It feels like I'm being too vulnerable, and a part of me wants to make a disclaimer statement. You know, just incase something goes wrong.

I met with an advisor last week and she broke down the classes I still need over the next three terms.
There it was on paper; no denying that I'm making progress.
She made a big fuss over my 4.0. I had to force myself to take the compliment. I really wanted to tell her that I'm just faking it. That none of this is real.
Wouldn't that have been funny?!

Truth is, the writing based courses were so easy, I can't imagine not getting a A's. It's these science based courses that I'm worried about. I could write papers about Roman culture , or Sigmund Freud's theories all day, but understanding carbon bonds and the breakdown of complex fatty acids? What, what?

A nurse midwife I used to work with told me she faked her way through nursing school without ever learning how to take blood pressure. She said one day it just clicked for her, but until that point, she had to fake it.

That example has kept me in the game. Everybody learns in a different way; meanwhile, we have to make ourselves fit into the box when necessary.
I was born a nurse, I've always been a nurse at heart.
The rest is just a technicality.
And I'm gonna fake it till I make it.

we just needed an outing.

Tonight, after dinner and a day full of homework and housekeeping, my daughter and I walked to the corner coffee shop for some of their famous cake.  The shop is called 3 layers in homage to their sky-high southern style cakes.  And trust me, they are worth the (almost) five dollars a slice.  

Anyway, my daughter isn't good at staying home all day, she thrives on the hustle bustle of life.  I'm the exact opposite, so sometimes we have to compromise.  She has to compromise a lot more since I started school and weekends are devoted to studying. 

But I needed a break and she needed an outing, so off we went.  

I could feel the heaviness of her heart, for whatever worries she had in the moment; all set ablaze by cabin fever.  Sometimes it's hard to be a 15 year old girl, you know? 

We didn't talk much on the walk, her enthusiasm level was basically flat lined.   

But I could feel the night air filling my soul and I figured she could, too.  

I could hear kids playing in back yards and people laughing on their porches.

The breeze was blowing around a bouquet of dinner smells; the sound of clanking dishes echoed from kitchen windows.  

It was open mic nite at the coffee shop, but then again, it's always open mic nite at 3 layers.  

It was a sweet little man doing the best he could; I don't remember what he was singing.

  

We got our cake to go, orange slice and chocolate espresso. yum. 

While we were waiting, we saw our neighbor and friend, Daniel.

My brother's house is 2 doors down, but he didn't appear to be home, so we kept walking.

On the way back home, more neighbors said hello.

It had gotten darker, so you could see the inside of the beautiful houses that line my street.  

The banisters, the art hanging on the walls, I try not to be a stalker, but it's hard not to look.  

As we walked with our ten dollars worth of cake, I felt like a million dollars. 

I love our neighborhood so much. 

Meanwhile, my daughter's steps got a little springier, and later the cake helped everything, too.

It was a win/win situation.  

My dad used to always say, "when spirits are low, you just need an outing." 

It's so true.