The gift of gratitude

When I'm worried and I can't sleep

I count my blessings instead of sheep

And I fall asleep counting my blessings

When my bankroll is getting small

I think of when I had none at all

And I fall asleep counting my blessings

(From the soundtrack of White Christmas)

Over the last few years, I’ve begun to see a drastic connection between gratitude and inner peace. In times when I’m struggling to accept a certain fate, when closure and/or acceptance seems out of reach, if I can muster the strength to be thankful, for even the most tiny detail, I can then find the courage to move on. The courage to let it go. 

The Bible says to enter into his gates with thanksgiving; go into his courts with praise. We hear it our entire lives. This is a part of the church culture that I’m very proud of. We hide his word in our heart from a young age and there’s so many “automatic responses”; little seeds of faith, that rise to the surface when most needed. Perhaps the biggest gift is really unraveling a spiritual principle, in a season of revelation, and it just absolutely blows your mind. Sometimes certain scriptures get classified as basic or cliche, you just hear it, or say it so many times, but it never sparks any emotion. UNTIL IT DOES. 

That’s what I love about the word of God, it’s alive and packs a punch for every season of the soul. 

The passion translation says: you can pass through his open gates with a password of praise. 

Praise is the password! 

In his presence is fullness of joy, but we need to be THANKFUL to approach him where he dwells. 

Thankful = happy. Got it. 

I know a ghost.

Something that always amazes me is how if you’re really paying attention and listening to Holy Spirit, there are very few total surprises in life. When you’re living in the spirit (listening, paying attention, following the nudges from our ultimate best friend) you will really understand the comfort of being prepared for so many situations. 

A few weeks ago, someone plowed into my car while I was stopped at a red light. Was I physically shocked by the impact? YES. But I kinda knew it was coming. To be more specific, I knew the days with my current car were numbered. She was slipping away; on life support, if you will. Holy spirit was whispering to me; Holly, it’s time to move on. Let go. 

Could we have poured some cash into her and kept her going another few years? Yes. Would that have been the best and highest for my family? No. Would I have ever dealt with it BEFORE being faced with an ultimatum? No. 

Situations like this always make me face my inner hoarder and avoider. I don’t like letting go, I don’t like change, and I don’t like dealing with things that aren’t fun. Selling/buying cars isn’t fun to me. I don’t like change because it kicks up the dust of life and reveals all the ways that we’ve allowed complacency. The ways that we might’ve stopped reaching for more. How the roof-liner of your 20-year-old car being held up by thumbtacks and tape is a metaphor for your life. But this whole situation is showing me that it’s okay! It’s okay to admit that you’ve been in survival mode for however long of a season, but you’re making progress now. Sometimes it just takes getting plowed into by a distracted stranger to really wake you up:

Hello, good morning! Some of the things in your life are falling apart and need replacing. You’re gonna have an unfamiliar feeling for a minute, but it’s gonna be okay. P.S. on the other side of this discomfort is JOY. You’re gonna be so happy with your new life. 

I had a few disparaging moments over the last few weeks. Between my shoulder hurting and having to drive my busted up car once the rental time was over. There were moments I felt defeated FOR SURE. But then I got kinda mad and reminded myself that I am the head and not the tail. Hurt shoulder and busted up car!? I’m not going down like that. No way. Spirit move. Fight for me. 

Long story short, I picked up my new(er) car yesterday, paid the bill in full and drove off into my new life. I am overwhelmed at how much the Lord has done for me in the last few weeks. Everything from the surprise upgrade of the AMAZING rental that was a faith catalyst for me, to the ease of finding a beautiful new car, to the sweetness of the insurance adjuster, the humor of the chiropractor. All if it; it all matters to me. So much. It was more than just a car wreck, it was a jolt that I kinda needed and I wouldn’t change a thing. 

The blessing of the Lord makes a person rich and he adds no sorrow with it. Proverbs 10:22