Soldier of love.

After 19 days of being home, I feel just the same as I did when I crossed the state line...
I feel alive.
Although, I can't seem to completely find my bearings while recovering from the move- I'm trying to just flow with it. I'm trying to give up on controling everything, and just enjoy life... I think I probably deserve that.
Our new found abundance of time with family and friends has come with challenges, but, for the most part, I feel l feel like I'm living the dream.
I've found that the more living you do- the more messes you have to clean. For example, the more you swim, the more soured towels you find behind the bathroom door. The more kids you have running around, the more bandaids you need. The more time you spend laughing with friends, is less time that you're watching the puppy, and it poops in your bathroom, and a guest see's before you do, and you absolutley want to die. The more you see family, the more you have to say goodbye, and that part is never fun.

I can't hide from these things- it's real life. It's being vunerable. It's being a family. Sometimes, a family finds itself redefining roles, and taking on new shapes- but I get the feeling that we're strong enough.

Today, I felt like I sent my brother off to be a soldier- I witnessed a kind of deployment. He'll travel far, but he'll return...and my door will be open. He's a soldier of love- and I'm proud of him. It's a been a tough time for us Duke's, but we're finding our way- you can't deny the power of love.

Life is messy- but it sure is beautiful. Blood, poop, and tears- life is just so beautiful.