As the sun sets on this day, October 19, 2013, my heart is full of emotions.

It's been a week of highs and lows. A 70th birthday celebration for my dad, a close friend had a miscarriage, so much school work, 2 major tests (that I did well on!) Carlos sister came for a visit,
Alexandria's 1st homecoming dance tonight, and it's also Matthew's 11th birthday.

11 years ago I was in my bed, holding a (not-so-tiny) tiny baby. Tonight, scenes from that day run through my mind like an old movie reel spinning. I miss that day, I miss that baby. But I love the big kid he's become.

And yesterday, I thought my head might explode when Alexandria begged me to return the original homecoming dress we had purchased for a new one she liked better. Shopping was the last thing I wanted to do. We had family coming over, and every minute we tarried put us closer to horrific rush-hour traffic. She needed a new dress, she had no shoes, she had no accessories. And suddenly, I had no life-force left in my body. I needed to find a place where I could roll up into the fetal position and chill for a while. Teenage girls are draining!
But then I thought about all the times that I just need a little help. A little grace. Isn't it so great when someone swoops in and saves the day? I thought of my dad and mom and how they still save the day for me when I need it. It's what parents do.
In less than 30, minutes we had it all figured out. A new dress; a new lease on life.
Note to self: it's okay to say yes sometimes.

And while prepping my sweet friend's dinner, my heart was just broken for her. But it seemed that making soup was a direct line to the holy spirit. In those simmering smells came the sweetest relief. By taking care of her, I was taking care of myself. And I realized just how much of an honor it is to nurture others.

Today I walked by a group of nursing students outside the library. They were wearing their scrubs and talking shop. I got so heart-poundy! Like they were celebrities or something. That's going to be me, y'all.  **squeal**

So as I close the door on the last seven days, I feel enormous gratitude for each of these heightened emotions.

Bittersweet that my baby is so big already.
Pride over my beautiful daughter.
Heartbreak over a loss.
Excitement for my future.

It all swirled around me like a funnel cloud, knocking over some walls, busting out some windows.
And I have this new light, fresh breeze.

Most of all, I have this hope as an anchor for my soul.