friendship.

Today, I'm so thankful for my BFF Hannah. She's a busy single mom and we rarely get the chance to talk in the phone. When we do, it's like a verbal marathon of scattered thoughts and half told stories. We interrupt each other with the best of intentions not to create another bunny trail- but we always do. We're in a rush to catch up with each other before our hectic lives force us off the phone.

It's quite a contrast to the years we spent as stay-at-home-moms. We shared thousands of lazy days at the beach, park, or kiddie art museums. Afternoons full of fruit salad and talks about motherhood, our marriages, birth, & breastfeeding. Morning visits that turned into afternoon visits, that turned into cooking dinner together. Kids running, and screaming, laughing, and crying. Those were the shining golden years. Those were the best days of my life.

I can't believe we're 600 miles apart, I can't believe how much she still gets me.

So yesterday, I walked around in circles at publix, throwing the occasional item in my cart, as we talked on the phone. I didn't care about groceries, coupons, or sales. I was having a hard day, and I needed a friend. Still talking, still oblivious to the world around me, I finally payed for my items and made my way to my car and drove home.

I cant tell you how many times I get to the end of a conversation, and totally abandon my plan of telling someone "I'm not okay." But when she told me she had to go, I asked her for a few more minutes. 20 minutes and a good ugly cry later, we said goodbye. I don't even remember what I said, but I felt so much better. There's nothing like a heart to heart with your bestie.

I wrote this for her years ago, when I first moved here. I still feel the same way.

Hannah, I know you don't really read my blog, but this one's for you. I love you. And seriously- thank you.

how i miss you
my dear friend
and the days
we used to spend carefree
or so it seemed
our troubles tossed away
left to brew for later.

our babies were babies
as they are no more...
how it seemed they'd be forevermore
unfolding in our arms.

if only i could remember better
the way it was then.
and hindsight being what it is
would have told me to breathe
and feel, and listen a little better...
for those days were fleeting
so precious and few.

and who would of known what the future would bring
contemplating...
as our children would sing.
it was all right there
so simple and free.

the path we carved, who could measure?
babes in arms and in the womb.
losses and gain.
this truth i treasure-
that in laughter and pain
we learn .
and grow.
and the years are sure to show
i could never find another
friend like you.