The Carlos Torres...

So Carlos is officially in his mid-30's!!! He turns an impressive 35 years old today. I know, he doesn't look 35...in fact, only a few years ago the cable guy asked him if his parents were home...to which he cleverly answered "I am the parents."

It's surreal how quickly the years are going by and how big the kids are getting. I'm coming to terms with the fact that I have 3 big kids now...no babies! The whirlwind of pregnancy and babies and sickness, and more babies, and breastfeeding, and sleep deprivation, and an out of state move, and life... it's all kinda calming down to the point where sometimes (not very often) I have time to reflect upon the last 11 years, like "what just happened?" And I look at Carlos and I squint a little and I say..."I know you" (really drawn-out like Tom Hanks in You've Got Mail)
He's been right here with me through thick and thin, as our life story writes itself.

Carlos is such a good guy...he loves me, his kids, and Gunther too. He is talented, funny, considerate, smart, handsome, and devoted.

Happy Birthday Carlos
I LOVE YOU!!!

inspired to dream...

Today we celebrate a man who had a dream...and his courage that ultimately cost him his life. Oh how Martin Luther King, Jr inspires me.

Dreams take courage...courage to hope although there is a possibility of disappointment, courage to hush the voices of discouragement and ridicule.
Honestly, I don't feel completely entitled to dream...it somehow feels like a very irresponsible escape from reality. But the thing about having a dream is that although it may defy possibility it remains alive on the inside of you. Dreams are like a like a little seed planted in your soul, they come about in their own time...God's own time. The world needs more dreamers...dreamers change the course of history!!! So dream big, dream proud, be inspired by those who have gone before us!

just a tidbit from an amazing speech...

"...I have a dream today!

I have a dream that one day every valley shall be exalted, and every hill and mountain shall be made low, the rough places will be made plain, and the crooked places will be made straight; "and the glory of the Lord shall be revealed and all flesh shall see it together. This is our hope, and this is the faith that I go back to the South with.

With this faith, we will be able to hew out of the mountain of despair a stone of hope. With this faith, we will be able to transform the jangling discords of our nation into a beautiful symphony of brotherhood. With this faith, we will be able to work together, to pray together, to struggle together, to go to jail together, to stand up for freedom together, knowing that we will be free one day.

And this will be the day -- this will be the day when all of God's children will be able to sing with new meaning:

My country 'tis of thee, sweet land of liberty, of thee I sing.

Land where my fathers died, land of the Pilgrim's pride,

From every mountainside, let freedom ring!" -MLK

good times with twister...

I sell this stuff...it's amazing!

Man...us Duke kids are getting old.

My brother turns 35 today.

When we were young we played outside together,
just like my kids do now...he was my first friend.
I tell my kids that they should get along because one
day they're going to miss each other.
I miss my brother.
Our relationship is complicated,
our lives are completely different.
But he's my brother,
and I love him.

I want this bag. real bad.

"I don't know what it is...but I want it." -matthew

gunther joel...

a new day's mercies...

Sometimes waking up is hard to do...this morning our daughter woke us up saying "do you realize that it's 7? Why didn't your alarm go off?" The truth is that the alarm had gone off only to be subconsciously silenced by the snooze button...I didn't even hear it this morning.
I went to bed last night feeling completely overwhelmed...I closed at work where I contracted a huge headache, my car was making noises on the way home, I wasn't sure if I liked my new haircut, the puppy was whining, I had no sandwich baggies for lunches tomorrow, I remembered that Abraham doesn't like the chips I bought, I worried that he wouldn't have enough to eat, I thought maybe Carlos could stop by the store, I wondered why I didn't go to the store today it was certainly my intention...on and on it went. Eventually I fell asleep, had some weird dreams I don't completely remember, and was only disturbed once by a box falling out of my over stuffed hallway closet (holler life coach).

This morning everything seemed a little easier...I negotiated snack choices with Abraham and wrapped them in plastic wrap...such an easy remedy. It just took a new day's mercy to think of it.
So I find myself in a new day feeling at peace, giving my self some credit, and a little more rest before I conquer the world.

sleepy...

I am sooo sleepy. The last 6 weeks were crazy busy and I have not yet fully recovered. Weeks of family, friends, shopping and traveling have now led way to the mother of all adrenaline crashes. The kids go back to school tomorrow and I'm looking forward to getting back into my routine....taking comfort in the same ol' same ol'.

of all the gifts God has bestowed to us U2 is among the greatest.

my memaw is better than yours...

"it takes no talent to be miserable..."
-Nancy Martin Stetson Carroll

James and Jacki gave each of us a copy of this picture of my Memaw with Dick Van Dyke (excuse the flash off the glass.)
This picture is amazing not only because she is standing next to a Hollywood legend
but because it captures Memaw in her classic pose.
I look at her face and I'm right back in the same trance she put me in whenever I was with her. She was BEAUTIFUL inside and out. I wish you all could have known her.

Having this picture of her hanging on my wall is going to change my life because when I look at it I remember her qualities. She always made me want to rise to the occasion and sadly I lost some of that when she died, but I'm getting it back! This year is going to be amazing...I can feel it in the deepest part of me. I don't make resolutions I am however making a decision to reflect my heritage more. I come from AMAZING women!!!

This is the poem I wrote for her and read at her funeral.

I have gazed into you
searching for one single trait
God might have traced into me-
oh to be so beautiful.
And I have stood in your shoes
and tried to walk-
Oh to be so graceful.
And holidays
like magic simply glistened in my eyes
you were amazing.
Just as you shined
In a little girls eyes
you will remain
Shining softly in my heart forever.