how he loves. the way i see it.

how he loves
by john mark mcmillan
is an amazing song
with an amazing story behind it.
seriously
you should find a way to hear it.
my brother james plays a solo that might make you
envision yourself dancing in a field of wildflowers
or at least shed a few tears like i usually do.
my issue is...
churches are changing the lyrics
and the way i see it
if we're already comparing God to a hurricane
and ourselves to a tree
why not go ahead and say "sloppy wet kiss"

it's john mark's song
and if we're going to sing it
we shouldn't change it.

music man

so i had to work during abraham's violin recital
but carlos took some pictures.

i am aware that he needs a haircut
just in case you were wondering.

one in a million.

i had a conference with abraham's
teacher yesterday and well,
she loves him!

she told me that abraham
is such a special child
"one in a million" she said.
"he excels academically and he is kind to others."

this teacher is an older woman
with 3 grown kids
i could right away she is nurturing.
and i love that for abraham.

a little birdie (alexandria)
told me that she treats the kids like babies
and i do realize that she is teaching the 3rd grade
but 8 & 9 year old kids
especially boys still need a lot of mothering.

she said something about how other teachers get
aggravated at her for helping the kids open their snacks at lunch
and being too helpful...
that made me sad.
i tried to encourage her that it means a lot
to me and mothers like me that the kids are being cared for
and watched over
not just managed.

her love for teaching shines through and
i left feeling uplifted and very proud of my boy.

i've got my people in brazil on it.

it's happening folks.

fyi

i might copy dreamstela
and switch to wordpress

it's just so pretty.

i'll let you know.

the ugly cry.

"You know you're doing the ugly cry
when you lose COMPLETE CONTROL
of all of the muscles in your face, start heaving
and making awkward sounds
(even though you are trying really hard to be silent),
and start leaking fluids from every opening on your
face from your hairline to your chin (yes, this includes the mouth).
Without a doubt, by the time you are through
with your ugly cry episode (if it was genuine)
it will look as though you are a homeless person
with pink eye who got punched a few times in the face
and was hit my a monsoon; this is completely normal
(and generally the time to call up a good friend). "

*compliments of theurbandictionary.com

tagged....

*ok so my links don't work and i don't
really want to bother with it but you guys know who you are...*

Holly A-Z

Thanks for the tag, Michelle

A. Attached or Single?

attached for 13 years

B. Best Friend?

Carlos, Hannah, KK, gunther.

C. Cake or pie?

cake please. i don't love pie crust

D. Day of choice?

sunday. i love cooking a big meal after church and taking a nap.

E. Essential item?

air conditioners & ceiling fans

F. Favorite color?

robin's egg blue

G. Gummy bears or worms?

bears

H. Hometown?

Jacksonville, Florida

I. Favorite indulgence?

a bag of jellybellys. not the prepacked, i must pick my own flavors (bubble gum, watermelon, coconut, tutti-fruity, dr.pepper)

J. January or July?

january hands down

K. Kids?
3 lovely ones

L. Life isn’t complete without?

my fam, burts bees lip balm, God, bare escentuals.

M. Marriage date?

10.05.1996

N. Number of brothers and sisters?

3 supercool brothers.

O. Oranges or Apples?

apples

P. Phobias?

just normal mommy phobias (the kids running out in the street, touching the hot stove, choking, etc.)

Q. Quotes?

"it's nice to be important but it's more important to be nice" "it's easier to get forgiveness than permission"

R. Reasons to smile?

break dancing lessons

S. Season of choice?

fall and spring. i'm all about mild temperatures although spring allergies are a killer.

T. Tag 5 people:

Erica

carlos

brandon

brooke

kk (do a myspace blog already)

U. Unknown fact about me?

i have never been to the fair. it seems dirty and gross.

V. Vegetable?

asparagus

W. Worst habit?

too much time on the computer

X. X-ray or Ultrasound?

I’ve had x-rays at the chiropractor , and 2 ultrasounds during pregnancy. (we didn't get an ultrasound with matthew)

Y. Your favorite food?

thai/sushi/my memaw's cooking was the best in the world.

Z. Zodiac sign?

idk. ( i really don't know)

breakin' 101

i heard the boys in the kitchen
as abraham was giving matthew a
break dancing lesson...

the part i did not get on video
is when abraham instructs
matthew in the robot
"serious face matthew, the robot is all
about a serious face."

current pursuit.

www.melissaplasticdreams.com

more

babies don't keep.

i was vacuuming tonight
and matthew asked me to please turn it off
so he could sing me 2 songs that he learned at school today
i was in a cleaning psychosis and i really didn't want to stop
but of course i listened
to all 6 verses
about the way children get to school (walking, bike, train, etc.)
he was standing there
in his t-shirt and undies
his little toes curled up
his hair in his face
his finger tips died blue from magic markers
his eyes as big as the full moon
singing through his smile and pearly white baby teeth.
he started the next song...
i was a little worried it may be even longer than the first
i have so much to do...
but he's so stinkin' cute
it made me think of this poem.

a mother's work is truly never done.

survivor story

so carlos contaminated me with a stomach bug.

the crippling pain began
at about 7 am this morning.
unfortunately...
i was working
yeah
it wasn't fun
so i pretty much just stayed on register
for the rush
which for a shift mgr is usually impossible
I was so blessed to have a good crew

a few times i thought i'd never make it through to quittin' time.
but alas i survived.

please join me in agreement
that my children will not get this yuckiness
thanks so much.

4 years

so labor day almost got away without me realizing that
this weekend marks 4 years since we moved to huntsville.

moving day.
for years i couldn't even think back to that day
without feeling intense post traumatic stress.
we hit almost every imaginable hurdle...
humorous to think about now,
not humorous then.

so we packed up all our earthy goods...
3 kidos,
a dog, cat, and turtle
all in the van...
an extra huge uhaul (which much to our dismay was diesel, 4 speed,
and could not go above 50mph without violently shaking.)

thousands were evacuating florida because of an impending hurricane
we were evacuating because we were in desperate need of a change...

I came here fully convinced we had fought our battles
and we were just going to breath easy for a while
after all, we had dealt with some hard times
and now a new beginning...
a easy, fun, beautiful season.

we had a honeymoon period
everything was great at first.
new scenery.
new people.
less traffic.
beautiful weather.
and then...
REALITY.
and it was hard.
no momma and daddy down the street,
no friends to meet at the park,
no amazing private school for the kids,
no family,
nothing.
an overwhelming sense of NOTHING.

I hit rock bottom.
i was sad,
mad,
and sooo lonely.
every preconceived idea,
every false hope,
every feeling of rejection
mocked me day and night.
I WAS DEPRESSED.

something i wrote one day was:
looking out the window at the mountain
and the sky
wondering
if i'll ever get that high...
wasn't it you that sent me to this valley?
I'm wondering why.

i knew i was spiritually climbing a mountain.

it was chilling that i was near the trail of tears
where my ancestors had walked
and wept
after having it all stolen away.
i felt all these profound parallels.
i also felt profound strength somewhere just out of reach.

i felt like i was grieving my grandmothers
more so than after they first died.
i was grieving my loss of hope.
i was grieving the moment i was living in.

sadness is paralyzing...
i knew i just had to break away
and start moving forward.
slowly, surely,
day by day,
it got better...
i made myself be happy
and i got better.

i love God, my family, my friends
and myself more than i ever could
if i hadn't felt some loss.
and i know now it wasn't all loss
as much as change
(change i didn't approve of)
it hurt nonetheless.
another thing i wrote
basically sums it up:

These days...
they’ll prove to be few
although for now each one drones by like an out of tune player
...seasons turn
though the reasons become fewer
I will remain
and know
it wasn’t for nothing
sentiments
like changing leaves fall
and flutter away looking quite sure of where they are going
Though I’m found in bareness
this love so pure never could come
if it wasn’t for the losing.

thank you God for these 4 years.
thank you for not giving up on me.
thank you for this beautiful place
you've brought me to.
i rejoice in you Lord
my God.
in you i have found my strength.