How cute are my parents?

Celebrating 40 years of marriage on Valentine's day... ladies and gentlemen, I give Mr and Mrs Dan Duke.


They're out on the town in Belo
tonight.
Mom says they have the city is to themselves because everyone went Rio for Carnival.

I love you, mom & dad!

the icing dialogues.

So the circus was a smashing success.
We managed to keep it a secret from Abraham until about an hour before showtime.
I think that was the longest I've ever kept a surprise quiet.
About 2 days before his birthday, he asked me if we were just going to celebrate at home, I said yes. He very sincerely replied "that's awesome."

poor baby.

He picked a "Jacksonville Jaguars" cake to take to school, that boy loves his homeland.
The jaguars are a NLF team- for those of you who hate football like I do, and therefore wouldn't know.

On his birthday, I had the weirdest feeling. I had actually done things in advance. No last minute scrambling. It was weird- and wonderful.

I went to pick up the cake which I had PRE-ordered (with the only kind of icing that the school would allow) but they got it wrong, and I was out of time.
They never really said it WASN'T whipcream...but we all knew.

So, I stood there, having an internal dialogue with myself about how whipcream and buttercream both have sugar listed as the first ingredient.
I know it has less lard, but they serve those kids country fried steak and gravy with tater-tots on the side.
double standards much?

I talked it over with Carlos. I talked it over with the bakery ladies- who didn't seem to have any customer service awards in their future.
Did I really want to pick a fight?
They had mullets.

But rules are rules, right?
And they're serious about those rules... on Matthew's birthday, Carlos had to scrape the icing off of 22 cupcakes- much to the horror of Mrs. Moon's 1st grade class.
But that was before I knew the public school's policy on icing.

This time, I had done everything right.
I ordered it 3 days ahead of time, I told them several times that it had to be whipcream.
I tried my best!

So in the end, I made them change the label. Does that make me a bad person?

Being unsure if I could pull it off, I wrote a note to the teacher about how I had "ordered" cake with whipcream icing, to bring to lunch for Abraham's birthday... and left the rest out.
Nobody asked me any questions at the school, so I never had to lie.

I swear, if whipcream had any less sugar, I never would have done it. never.

That's my story, and I'm sticking to it.

Shhhh.

Don't tell Abraham, but I'm keeping a secret from him... and well, it's breaking my heart.
His 10th birthday is coming up on Wednesday, which happens to be opening night if the circus. He has no idea I bought tickets like 2 weeks ago. The heartbreaking part is when the commercials come on, he asks if we can go- he has this little light in his eyes that dims away when I say "we'll see."

It's so easy- maybe even theraputic to say no to Aiya and Matt...because they ask for stuff every 42 seconds. But not Abraham, he rarely asks for anything. Some nights, when my head hits the pillow, I panic because I can't remember if I even talked to him all night. I know I do- but since he's not in my face like the other two, it's not as apparent. He's easy as pie. He's tender and brilliant.
I love him so much.

I remember the nights in the hospital when he was born, they were quiet, quiet nights. It was just him and me. (I wanted Carlos to stay with Alexandria, she had never slept over anywhere else.) So in those midnight hours- we learned all there was to know about eachother. He had the most peaceful spirit I had ever encountered. He still does.
I know somebody's gotta be the middle child, sometimes I just wish it didn't have to be him. But then he wouldn't be Abraham...and that would never do.

Wednesday is going to be his day, and I get to tell him the happy news. I really can't stand the circus. But he'll be on the edge of his seat. I can't wait.

the cure.

after the mother of all crappy days, i picked up the ninos and headed home- by way of the grocery store. while inside it started to rain, then pour. walking out-the storm clouds were back-lit by the sunset. it felt more like walking on a movie set rather than anything real.
matt was scared (probably because his sister told him he might get pounded by deadly hail) so he tucked his head under my arm and did his little self-soothing hum he does.

we made it to the car and of course I had left the sunroof open. of course.

so while driving home to the anthem of tornado sirens, my (almost) 10 year old says (in a twangy southern accent for emphasis)

"i knew a storm was brewin' cuz my knee's been hurtin' all day!"

what? what 10 year olds says that?

oh yeah, mine does.

he made me laugh.
and just like that, i felt better.
i hate that i can be so emo. but i can.

so it was a crazy storm.
for a second i thought a funnel cloud might scoop us up.
but i know better than that.

a merry heart makes a cheerful countenance: but by sorrow of the heart the spirit is broken.
Proverbs 15:13

I heart finished projects.

all the bright lights.

i'm not a review writer. i'm not an authority on music.
but i do know good music when i hear it- and i'm in tune with the emotions it evokes.
i love how good music heightens all your senses.
i love how good music puts the life- that other things drained out, back in you.
music is a gift.
this record is a gift-
all wrapped up in something extra special.
it's gut wrenchingly pure- you can tell it comes straight from the heart.
it isn't forced, or devised. it has nothing to prove. it's just plain beautiful.

it's like a drive through the countryside, you're going to see (hear) something new each time.
and probably feel something new each time, too.

in my opinion... it's best heard with ear buds.
and trust me, you're gonna turn it up until you hear your mom's voice in your head warning you of your impending deafness.

and not to be completely self-adsorbed, here is a brief description of the way it makes me feel...

it makes me happy.
it makes me cry.
it makes me want to rise to the occasion.
it breaks my heart- in a good way.
it soothes me.
it moves me.
it makes me feel brave-

and very proud.
oh, did i mention it's my brother's record?

it stirs something on the inside that makes me want to create something in my own rite.
i believe that everybody's got their own masterpiece on the inside that's trying to get out-
and this music could be the soundtrack for that journey.

you should buy it.

click here.

redemption

Dear redplum & smartsource,

I was beginning to think you didn't love me anymore- but after today...I believe in us again!
$2.50 off 1 aveno hair care...Will you marry me?



- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

snow day.

they've been predicting snow to arrive today since last week. at about 8:00 a.m. today it started coming down. the grocery stores have been impossibly busy, the shelves are ransacked as if the end of the world is near. there's a nervous energy in the city that's enough to drive you crazy- like a full moon on steroids.

meanwhile...i love snow, it's so beautiful and fun for the kids. the sound it makes falling is like a thousand birds flapping their wings.

gunther likes it, too.

The marriage of true minds.

So Carlos and I were laying in bed...get your mind out of the gutter, we were playing iPhone scrabble. gah. Anyway...I was remembering years ago when we used to write words on eachother's backs (pretend not with an actual pen) and try to guess. Now we have all this technology. It's crazy.


And... I scored a 99 point word! Yay me!

jota (hō′tə)

noun

a Spanish dance in 3/4 time performed by a man and woman to the rhythm of castanets.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

friendship.

Today, I'm so thankful for my BFF Hannah. She's a busy single mom and we rarely get the chance to talk in the phone. When we do, it's like a verbal marathon of scattered thoughts and half told stories. We interrupt each other with the best of intentions not to create another bunny trail- but we always do. We're in a rush to catch up with each other before our hectic lives force us off the phone.

It's quite a contrast to the years we spent as stay-at-home-moms. We shared thousands of lazy days at the beach, park, or kiddie art museums. Afternoons full of fruit salad and talks about motherhood, our marriages, birth, & breastfeeding. Morning visits that turned into afternoon visits, that turned into cooking dinner together. Kids running, and screaming, laughing, and crying. Those were the shining golden years. Those were the best days of my life.

I can't believe we're 600 miles apart, I can't believe how much she still gets me.

So yesterday, I walked around in circles at publix, throwing the occasional item in my cart, as we talked on the phone. I didn't care about groceries, coupons, or sales. I was having a hard day, and I needed a friend. Still talking, still oblivious to the world around me, I finally payed for my items and made my way to my car and drove home.

I cant tell you how many times I get to the end of a conversation, and totally abandon my plan of telling someone "I'm not okay." But when she told me she had to go, I asked her for a few more minutes. 20 minutes and a good ugly cry later, we said goodbye. I don't even remember what I said, but I felt so much better. There's nothing like a heart to heart with your bestie.

I wrote this for her years ago, when I first moved here. I still feel the same way.

Hannah, I know you don't really read my blog, but this one's for you. I love you. And seriously- thank you.

how i miss you
my dear friend
and the days
we used to spend carefree
or so it seemed
our troubles tossed away
left to brew for later.

our babies were babies
as they are no more...
how it seemed they'd be forevermore
unfolding in our arms.

if only i could remember better
the way it was then.
and hindsight being what it is
would have told me to breathe
and feel, and listen a little better...
for those days were fleeting
so precious and few.

and who would of known what the future would bring
contemplating...
as our children would sing.
it was all right there
so simple and free.

the path we carved, who could measure?
babes in arms and in the womb.
losses and gain.
this truth i treasure-
that in laughter and pain
we learn .
and grow.
and the years are sure to show
i could never find another
friend like you.

2010.

hope deferred makes the heart sick,

but a dream fulfilled is a tree of life.

proverbs 13:12

i trust you, God!