tonight, I'm in a weird mood...I think I might just be tired but instead of just realizing I'm tired I keep getting hints from myself like slurring words or saying things backwards or being overly emotional and distraught for no good reason...I feel overly distraught for taking Matthew to a tacky little walk-in place for what turned out to be his first bad haircut when I knew full well that nothing good comes out of those places except brainless buzz cuts...my kids have unusual amounts of very thick hair and only skilled stylist can take it on...I knew that. Carlos mentioned that it's his rite of passage...a bad haircut is inevitable really...I think maybe I've just reached my quota of stupid mistakes this month and I've run out of forgiveness for myself. Another issue is that he's turning 5 on Friday and I'm ALWAYS emotional on my children's birthdays ALWAYS!
I can play out the days surrounding his birth like a movie in my head...having a baby brings a visit or a conversation from everyone who loves you, meals delivered to your door, flowers and soft blankets, hugs and blessings not to mention this bundle that smells like heaven who molds into your arms and simply melts your heart...I'm sad because its been so long since I've had a baby...I'm sad because I'm so far away from the people who made my baby having days so unforgettable...OK, I said it or actually wrote it in the worlds longest run-on sentence either way...I feel better.
1 comment:
He'll be ok......
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