After a very traumatic first 2 years of living here, I had a breakthrough. I no longer had a gaping hole in my heart! I got so much better about not missing home, family and friends every minute of the day....but still some days are hard.
Today, I talked to Hannah about birth...something I haven't talked about in so long.
I never get to doula anymore...another thing I gave up when I left Jacksonville. I'm now in the land of the conventional where midwifes are outlaws and homebirthers are an underground society.
I miss the birth community back home...I miss doula meetings and bradley method classes, making belly casts, ranting with my BFF"S about c-section rates, circumcision, the audacity of infant formula companies. I miss going to births in the middle of the night, witnessing little miracles come into the world, seeing a mom instantly connect with her baby. I miss being a crusader for something that matters.
Birth is my passion and I've had to let it go.
sad.
It's ok to be sad sometimes, just not all the time.
1 comment:
When I'm preggers, you're so my doula.
I'm sorry you had to give that up.
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