Today, started with the feeling that days had merged, combined, morphed into a blob.
It started at 4:22 am, the alarm sounded like laughter...ha ha, ha ha, hahaha
And then there was hair/makeup/basic grooming and finding my ugly yet completely practical new work shoes- they are like walking on a cloud- a soon to be covered with steamed milk and various syrups cloud. They remind me of old man house shoes- totally 1980's Bill Cosby. He would be sporting these bad boys with his p.j.'s. Every time I look at them I think of Bill Cosby. But they're comfortable. You've got to understand, I have permanent scars from breaking in new work shoes. With one particular pair, I thought I might loose my feet to amputation...they were blistered and swollen. I got so many compliments on the shoes, but they were bad- pure evil. But once you start breaking in new shoes, you can't quit, It just postpones the enviable. You gotta push through. I work 8 hour shifts, on my feet for most of it, and finally, after 4.5 years, I went for comfort. I guess you can teach an old dog new tricks after all.
I get a par of shoes for work, and I wear them until they fall apart. Why not have 5 pairs in rotation at all times? It's just not my style I guess, I need one good pair, broken in and ready. Truth is, I don't want to devote anymore than I have to work. I feel that work consumes 60% of my time and 80% of my energy. My job is a real energy stealer. There is so much more to life.
It occurred to me today. How hard we all try. It all seems so unimportant and mundane, but it matters to us deeply. It's amazing and strange- how much people can care about a store, and pleasing customers. And the higher-ups want everyone to do better, and work harder and so we do...even when we think it's impossible. It's some strange combination of devotion and slavery.
We are the bottom of the food chain.
We are the heart of America.
We are champions.
We are a dysfunctional family.
When I went to get the kids, Carlos was leaving work. So, they all jumped into the Volvo, and we ran an errand, got lunch, then returned home for the most dreamy nap ever. I woke up feeling like it was Sunday. Life felt really easy.
My kids are impossibly adorable.
I have a hilarious husband.
I am behind on laundry.
I will be okay.
"I am the gatekeeper of my own destiny, and I will have my glory day in the hot sun." -Nacho Libre.
3 comments:
i felt like i crossed over into an unknown part of adulthood when i (pregnantly) decided i would rather not have my feet hurt than have on cute shoes. i mean, there's almost nothing worse than your feet killin' you. you can't think about anything else.
i loved reading this...the whole thing, not just about your bill cosby shoes.
I heart you.
no offense, but, those shoes are waaaaaaaaay, sorry not that way but... they are out of style. totally like all the things in the cosby show
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