be my little baby.

Tomorrow...Matthew turns seven.

s-e-v-e-n y'all.

How did that happen?

When I was pregnant with him, I was so afraid that because was my third born, he wouldn't get enough attention. I was determined that he would not constantly be in a car seat, or a swing, or a playpen, while I tended to life. So basically, when he was born, I bundled him in a sling, and he stayed there. As I grocery shopped, did laundry, pushed the big kids in swings at the park- he was right there. This is one of the best decisions I ever made. Already having two babies, I knew just how fast they grow. I knew I couldn't spoil him by holding him too much (despite what babywise says.) It might have been a little self indulgent- but babies are my favorite.

1. Matthew is a lion, he's fast and strong.
2. He eats all day, yet you cant pinch an inch.
3. He still runs over to give me a kiss when I'm leaving for work.
4. He over-explains everything. "I want a lot of cheese, you know momma, a lot- more than a little?"
5. He is really smart.
6. He is extremely funny, and sarcastic.
7. He is still my baby.

anonymous.

recently, a member of my family had to write this:
but i'm not the kind of mom who enjoys embarrassing or publicly outing my children for their transgressions. so the guilty person will remain unknown.

(the guilty person)

U2 top 10

goofy us on the train.

1. we had general admission tickets, it was my favorite- ever. it's to sad to be far away.
   
2. we took the MARTA to get there. we were with my brother, sis-n-law and his friends. it was really fun. it kinda gave the whole urban, big city adventure experience.
   
3. sadly, my ticket didn't scan for the circle. oh to be james duke.
4. the guy in front of me did reverse head banging (swift and unpredictable backwards head thrust) i kept my hand up to avoid having my nose broken.
   
5. we later moved.
6. bono pulled a lady on stage. she was wearing "mom jeans." they hugged for 5 minutes. that should of been me. i'm just sayin'.
7. my nails were painted black for this event.
   
8. muse was awesome.
9. i danced like a fool. i didn't care if i looked stupid. deep down, i'm still that crazy girl.
10. my favorite moment was actually at the end of the night. when the show was over, the guys met in the middle of the stage, shook hands, hugged, and walked off the stage. after all the fuss is over-they're just guys in a band. i love that.
    

magnificent.

i have lots to say-

but it will have to wait.

until then, i'll be daydreaming about having the time to collect my thoughts.

for now, i'll leave you with this...

my happy place.

the fabric of my hammock, is the same fabric as the sling i used for abraham.

it just kinda hugs you.

and this is my view.

i'm one lucky girl.

all of this can be yours...

we're about to introduce instant coffee at work.

this is the biggest launch in company history.

we're breaking down the walls between instant and freshly brewed coffee drinkers.

we're removing the stigma- changing the way people think.

apparently, instant is the new brewed. lol.

e. was singing a song yesterday at work that was something about

"we've invested millions-in the middle of a recession-so sell the stuff or you're all getting canned."

so there's a lot of talk, and hype about our ready brew-

and all the ways you can use it.

it reminds me of that guy who follows forest gump around- listing all the ways you can cook shrimp.

its your:

camping trip coffee

staying at a hotel with bad coffee coffee

don't have time in the morning coffee

don't want to brew a whole pot of coffee coffee

pour it in a bottle of water for cold coffee coffee

serve it over ice for iced coffee coffee

add to hot or cold milk for coffee that tastes more like a latte coffee

use in the event of a coffee emergency coffee (i'm not sure what a coffee emergency is.)

... boiled coffee...

.........fried coffee........

coffee scampi....................................

gunther j. torres

weekend wear.

shaggy chic.

windblown look.

i can't fight this feeling anymore.

"When your memories are greater than your dreams, you are already beginning to die."

-Kris Vallottoon

Silly quotes- that hit me like a ton of bricks. Silly words- that cut me to the core.

My question is...what am i supposed to do about it?

So I was reading my brother's blog about influence, and feeling really inspired and depressed at the same time. Isn't that the perfect example of being melancholy- inspired and depressed? I think that is what really good writing does to people. It makes you happy and breaks your heart at the same time. I'll speak for myself and say, it makes me want to write better, so maybe I can make sense of it all. And as a bonus, maybe someone will understand.

And if you read his blog, you should know, he writes the riffs that people hum when they're watering plants. He writes solos that will make you cry-even when you're happy.

That's enough about that.

I have been deep in the throes of an identity crisis, and coming to grips with the fact that I never thought past the moment my kids wouldn't need me every moment of the day. I never planned past the first day of kindergarten. I never planned much of anything.

So I'm just trying to get a handle on whatever this emo-ish funk I'm in. And thinking of my life, and what I want to do.

I have taken personality tests, and I've always come back mostly melancholy perfectionist. I think a lot of people consider this personality type a serious drag. But I come from a long line of us, and we're okay-once you get to know us. Anyway, I found this article, and although it's not intended to be funny, parts of it made me laugh. Which is good.

Yeah, the part about "asserting control by becoming moody and withdrawn." um, ouch! I never thought of it as control, just that i was just ticked off and wanted everyone to know...haha.

I know I'm not serious enough to be a true hardcore melancholy.

I'm a lightweight.

Except when I'm not.

When considering the melancholy's core emotional needs, it's important to remember the five "S's": space, silence, sensitivity, support and stability. Generally speaking, melancholies are serious individuals, and they appreciate people who share their deep-thinking and idealistic natures. Also, people with this temperament assert their control in situations by becoming moody and withdrawn.

Complete foils to the sunny sanguines, melancholies are characterized by their self-deprecating comments and overwhelming desires for perfection. However, people with this personality type are also known for being extremely loyal and faithful to those they let in their inner circle. Unlike fickle sanguines, who are known for having numerous friends and acquaintances, melancholies will be a friend for life.

Below are the key strengths and weakness ascribed to melancholies:

Key Strengths	Key Weaknesses
Analytical, detailed and orderly	Pessimistic, insecure and resentful
Considerate and respectful	Depression-prone and negative
Sensitive and self-sacrificing	Unforgiving and skeptical
Cultured and idealistic	Suspicious and introverted

Managing the Melancholy

When managing a melancholy, you should approach him or her in an intellectual, sensible manner. As people who appreciate sincerity, they don't like it when administrators beat around the bush. Also, criticizing melancholies is usually unnecessary, as they are typically hard enough on themselves. According to Littauer, "Melancholies are task-oriented folks who are careful and organized. These perfectionists thrive on order, and you can depend on them to complete a job on time. But, their perfectionism may make them critical or pessimistic, and they drive themselves crazy with their efforts to measure up to their own high standards."

Still, melancholies are valuable in the workplace because they bring talent and creativity into every situation. And, these self-sacrificing individuals will work tirelessly to ensure that their work is as cutting-edge and innovative as possible. The melancholy's life motto: "If it's worth doing, it's worth doing right."

5 things I will never do, now that I've worked retail.

1. I will never ignore a personal greeting. "Give me/I want a blah, blah, blah" isn't a correct response to someone saying "hello! how are you today?" I will say hello, because my momma taught me manners- when I was a todler.

2. I will never throw my payment on the counter, because it's rude, rude, rude. I will give it to the person, because I'm prety sure they'll enjoy being treated like a human.

3. I will never hand trash to anyone, just assuming they are willing to take my trash. I will find a trash can, because I'm a good person.

4. I will never wisper or mouth my order to a person because I'm on the phone. They aren't paid enough to read lips. It's just kinda...incredibly annoying.

5. I will never get angry at a person for upholding a corporate policy. If I disagree with a policy, I will call corporate headquarters. Yelling at someone who has nothing to do with making rules is both pointless and mean.

and so she woke up.

So I put together a care package for my nephew today.
And wrote him a goofy, rhymey poem.
Alexandria was mortified.
She suggested I facebook him- instead of putting such foolishness on paper.

You just haven't lived until a 12 year old tells you you're tacky.

I find myself daydreaming a lot lately.
I don't want to be some distracted, far off person.
I want to engage.
I have complete conversations that I cant remember 3 minutes later.
I feel like I'm sleep walking.
I've gotta wake up-
I've got to be awakened.

I think I left my heart back home.
But that will never do...because life is here. now.

Today is all I really have for sure.